I have degrees from the most prestigious universities in the world, and yet I CHOSE to be a SAHM. I wasted my parents money by not pursuing my career. I am quoted as an example to every girl in my family when the parents want to convince to them to get married instead of pursuing education. I am such a failure. NOT. I am everything BUT a failure. I made this choice for the betterment of my children and NO ONE gets to judge me for that.
You see, the society never gets satisfied with your choices. So I have started to turn a deaf ear to that silly stuff. I enjoy being a SAHM, because alhamdolilah I get to spend quality time with my family that way and I am in a better position to instill MY values in my children. I think even if I would have been in Pakistan, I would have done the same. I know a lot of women going to work leaving their babies with their moms or mom-in-laws, now I am not judging (totally, I can understand how TERRIBLY hard decision will it be to leave your child that way) but I feel since I brought this life into this world, ONLY I am responsible for him, not my mom, not my mom-in-law. And I do NOT trust day cares for full days, unless I have access to the live feed of what my baby is doing, but still the fear of missing all the important milestones of my baby is far greater than not being able to fit in the workforce a few years later.
Here are some myths that people generally have about SAHMs:
Myth 1: They are mostly sleeping or binge watching TV
Reality: Most of my day is spent while standing, even if I eat properly on some days, that’s an achievement by itself. My usual day starts from 6am and I am up until 11ish pm, sometimes without naps. So, yeah, judge all you want!
Myth 2: SAHMs don’t have enough education which is why they don’t work
Reality: A lot of well educated women give up their careers to raise up their children. Giving up on a career and giving up on goals are 2 separate things. At some point in life, a lot of women’s life goals become to raise up good human beings, and the only way to do that, for them, is do become a SAHM. Successful and educated lawyers, engineers, doctors and in my case, marketeers leave their profession to achieve that goal.
Myth 3: SAHMs are good cooks as they are always cooking home cooked meals
Reality: NOT true. We look for shortcuts in the kitchens and other life hacks for easier cleaning, etc. as much as the working moms. Who doesn’t like to save time?? I know working moms who are great cooks.
Myth 4: The kids of SAHMs do better in school and are more calm.
Reality: EVERY kid is different. Yes, the child’s environment has a deep effect on him, however a lot of working moms and SAHMs take deep interest in their children’s academic and moral growth.
Myth 5: SAHMs are all the time partying amongst themselves or out shopping
Reality: We do socialize but it’s only to have a break from our mundane schedules. Chances are that we are out GROCERY shopping if you hear that we are out shopping. Even for that, I like online shopping mostly, because, ghar k kaam never end and online shopping is so much easier.
When will we start bringing fathers into equation of raising children? So if the father works all day and comes home tired, does that omit him from helping out in raising HIS children? Does that give him a pass on not helping the kids with their home works? NO.
This post in no way is intended to offend working moms. I admire all the moms, and specially working moms have genius like time management skills I believe. Working or a stay at home mom, we are all wearing different hats in a day. Some times the chef hat, sometimes the gardeners, cleaning maid’s, friend’s, a lawyer’s hat (when the kids are fighting like crazy!), unimaginable roles that we all do, sometimes to perfection. All of us are trying hard, more empowerment to all the moms.
