So you have a friend/relative who has just had a baby and you feel really nice and want to go meet her and her new born. No matter if she a FTM or already has babies, please be considerate to the following things:
- Haye pata nahi ye motapa kaise utre ga?? (How will you get back in shape now)??
Please know that by saying this you are being mean, illiterate (jahil) and extremely pathetic! She is a new mom and trust me, weight loss is on her mind already (thanks to our society for creating such norms), but she has more priorities in life, and she didn’t ask for your advise. So, new mom, just continue to focus on your child, life and food 😉
- Bachay ka rang toh gandumi sa hai, aata Lagao ragad k, saaf ho jaye ga! (Your child is dark and you need to put (god-forsaken) flour to lighten up the complexion of your child)
Really??? Are you that heartless dear aunty? Look what fair complexion did to you, made you an arrogant woman who thinks that light complexion is the best in the world. I don’t want that for my baby, so sorry!
- Iski Naak aur maathay ko zara dabaya karo, naak patli ho jaye gi aur maatha baith jaye ga. (This is just so absurd that I don’t even wanna translate it!)
You know what a new mom wants to do then? She wants to dabaofy your gala (strangle your neck), dear aunty for such a ridiculous free advise. Please don’t put unnecessary pressure on tiny features of your babies, moms, it can be super harmful sometimes. Whoever says that you, either ignore or just say that: lagta hai aap ki Ammi ne Bachpan main Aapki naak nahi dabayi, tab he toh itni bari ho gayi hai k doosron k issues main a rahi hai.
- Raat ko so Jaata/jaati hai? (Does the baby sleep through the night?)
No. No newborn in the world sleeps through the night. Babies have a small tummy and they wake up every 2-4 hours in a day to eat until 4 months at least. It’s a common knowledge so increase your knowledge cuz this new mom is already tired and overwhelmed and this question of yours is just adding to her miseries.
- Going to a new born’s home unannounced
This is a big NO. As newborns and their parents have very tough schedule. They might not even be in a condition to host you. Just ask them (not tell them) at least a day before you are planning to go.
- Kissing the newborn
N-O.. NO! Please don’t touch the newborns even without sanitizing your hands, and kissing a newborn is a humongous NO! There are a lot of infections that can spread to the newborns with your kiss. Yes, you may think of yourself as super hygienic of a miraculous person but here is the thing: newborns’ immune system is not that strong so that can’t fight against the bad germs spread to them. If you have to, then kiss on the feet, not even hands because newborns put their hands in their mouth a lot, and it can be even more dangerous.
- Spending 2 hours at a newborn’s place
40 mins are more than enough to see the new born, give the parents best wishes, etc. Please don’t expect tea/lunch/dinner to be hosted for you at a new born’s place (unless, you have been specifically invited for one). Be kind and understanding.
Having and raising babies is hard and overwhelming. Be nice to your friends and family with newborns and understand them. They have a whole new person with them now, totally dependent on them, and chances are that they are in the state of happiness yet confusion on what to do. It’s hard. etiquette
